Stephen Colbert roasted Donald Trump for delivering the longest-ever presidential nomination acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention (RNC) in Milwaukee, questioning whether the former president had mistaken the meaning behind his supporters’ chants.
“We are live, but after watching that speech, I’m dead inside,” the late-night host said on his show on Thursday.
“Tonight, this is true… Trump gave the longest convention address of all time. Apparently, when they were chanting ‘four more years,’ he thought they meant of this speech.”
Colbert mocked some of the RNC attendees’ dancing and outfits on show before striking a more serious note.
“None of this is normal. It’s deeply, psychotically weird that this is happening at all,” he said.
“Less than four years ago, this man incited an attack on the US Capitol in order to obstruct the peaceful transfer of power for the first time in our nation’s history. Then he was impeached again. Then he was indicted a lot. Then he was found liable for sexual assault and convicted of 34 felonies and the Republicans are desperate for voters to forget all of that.
“Also, he’s not currently the president, so it’s weird he spoke in front of a Zoom background of the White House.”
Diving into the substance of Trump’s speech, Colbert pointed to Trump’s claim of wanting to unite the US after surviving an assassination attempt last weekend.
“I’m here tonight to lay out a vision for the whole nation, to every citizen, whether you’re young or old, man or woman, Democrat, Republican or Independent, Black or white, Asian or Hispanic…” Trump said in a clip of his speech played by Colbert.
The late-night show host then continued that list for him: “…Freaks or geeks, Sharks or Jets, innies or outies, tops or bottoms, paper or plastic, regular or extra crispy, Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, Simon or Garfunkel…”
Colbert then joked that Trump has been scaremongering about a “Latino Hannibal Lecter” (“He eats your leg with salsa”), mocked him for not understanding the difference between political rallies and music concerts, and pointed out that – for all his anti-immigrant rhetoric – he built just 52 miles of his 1,400 mile US-Mexico border wall during his time in office.
Colbert also roasted some of the other speakers from the RNC’s final day, including Hulk Hogan, Eric Trump, Kid Rock, Alina Habba and Tucker Carlson, reserving particular relish for Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz, whose apparent change in appearance sparked speculation online.
“Matt Gaetz looks like a wax drag queen from Whoville,” he joked. “He looks like he’s in a business school production of Cats.”
Colbert rounded off by saying: “So, anyway, there it is. Longest speech of all time. They did it though. They had a convention.
“They made me watch most of it, and I made you watch some of it. Please forgive me.”
